Adolescents and the Media - Informal Tone + Structure

I like this piece. It's nice to see a change from the mundane paragraph after paragraph approach. Sometimes, bullets can work just as well. Since the editorial was meant to be informal in its tone and structure, I find it safe to let the criticizing fly out the window and read the piece mainly for its content.

The writer covered many debatable topics that have found a home in the media. They are present day after day, delivered to the audience show after show - not to mention the intervening advertisements every ten minutes. The writer (Victor) also uses statistics to give his opinion some backbone. The writer categorized the content into what people know and do not know, breaking it down for people to have an easier time browsing through the information.

There is one thing I would like to comment on. Victor (the author) said:

"Parents may also buy into the Hollywood myth that television and movies are merely fantasy entertainment."

I feel that many groups of people, institutions and research centers in today's society are wasting their time pointing fingers at an acceptable scapegoat whenever possible. For example, many have accused Hollywood of polluting virgin minds at home. In turn, Hollywood may cast the blame towards parents for being unable to control what their children watch. The parents, then, may look towards the media (TV primarily), blaming them for running inappropriate content. And the cycle can go on and on .. and on. And on.

Of the four pieces examined, Henry Jenkins and his essay on Virginia Tech and media violence grabs first place, while second place goes to the "informal tone and structure editorial". Third place goes to the article about Tom and Jerry (I forget its author and name - sorry), and number four would go to the first piece examined. This is my preference, however. I'm sure there is someone who disagrees with my order.


Sahil

Debunking Media Violennce - Formal Tone

For one thing, this editorial did not sound formal from start to finish. There were numerous inclusions of the audience (by saying We, I, and our).

This editorial was completely different from the piece written by Jenkins (regarding Virginia Tech). I found a few errors about grammar and structure throughout the piece, and felt that this piece should not be used as an example of a good editorial. Jenkins's article would be a better choice.

I also found that the editorial was not organized as well as it could have been. The topics jumped back and forth, talking about Tom and Jerry -> Entertainment -> Video Games -> Cartoons -> V-Chip -> Entertainment again. I also found unnecessary repetition used by the author, mainly the word "So". One paragraph ended with "So our government and our society have been down this path before. " and the next one began with "So what should be done about violence in the media?" There were also a few lines that were not needed, and the editorial would have looked a lot more professional had those lines been cut off. An example of this would be "So our government and our society have been down this path before. " Lastly, I felt that the writer could have requested someone to edit their piece using a fine comb. There were many examples that suggested that this piece was, in fact, informal. An example would be "So another solution to solving the violence in the media problem is to use the V-chips. Sounds simple, and it could help stop a lot of the violence that children see on television." ... Sounds simple? ... Again with the use of "SO" ...

The only upside to this piece was the fact that this editorial did contain a good portion of facts and statistics. They enhanced the writer's opinion regarding media violence.


Sahil

Media Violence - Informal Tone

Alright ... that seemed way longer than just one or two pages. But it was a good read.

While the piece was written using an informal tone, the overall structure and look of the piece was far more superior than the "Formal Tone" version. It is possible to tell the difference between the experiences of the two writers just by reading the first paragraph!

I can definitely say I would choose this piece over the previous one, for many reasons. The level of diction used here surpassed the language used by the first writer. The content included numerous detailed examples to support the writer's opinion of the matter. He introduced the topic on media violence through the ghastly incident in Virginia Tech, and quickly got into describing the real point at issue here. I also agree with his take on the topic, that society should use the violence displayed as a means to think about the issue and learn from it. However, before society is allowed to think about the topic, television networks and giants such as CNN or CBC often bring their own 'expert' to discuss the matter and offer their own opinion regarding it. And since it is an 'expert' opinion, many viewers accept it as the truth and do not probe into the matter any further.

The writer also structured his piece in a clear and organized manner. The piece started with the topic of Virgina Tech, continued with video games, Disney, and included the Iliad and gangs. Perhaps the most notable point the writer raised was regarding the Haw Paw Villa. Located in Singapore, many people used its content as a means to caution their young ones about consequences of committing bad deeds. As the writer pointed out, violence has been in existence for decades, and it is likely to remain in existence for centuries to come. The actions used by Singaporeans to warn their kids should be used as an example by people around the world. Instead of bitching about how horrible "media violence" really is, they should accept it as a part of their life and learn how to protect the rest of the society.


PS: I apologize for any profanity, or if I have offended anyone.


Sahil

Media Violence - Formal Tone

The article discussed the various ways violence has seeped into today's society. Starting from newspapers and moving towards the television, the article covers the major devices through which violence has affected young and adult people around the world. The writer also provides statistics regarding the effect of violence on different ages. It points out that not all children who witness violence on television are likely to act upon it.

However, while the content was fine, the structure, tone and the style was something that could definitely be improved. Almost every introduction line on each paragraph could have been written better, or written more precisely. One example of this is "As early as 1958 investigations were being conducted of the effects of television on children." Although the reader can understand the content, the writer could have written it as "Investigations into the effects of television on children were being conducted since 1958." It's just an attempt to make the piece sound a little more ... "professional"?. It is a formal piece after all.

Regarding the tone of the writer, it seems to be more informal than formal. There are a few sentences whereby the reader can feel that the writer is talking to his friends about this topic. It was also challenging to find the main point of this piece. It was hard locating the thesis. There are also miniscule errors such as writing "t.v" and forgetting to add apostrophies and capitalising when needed. Overall, though, I found it to be mediocre.


Sahil

Reflections

Writing a persuasive piece can be difficult because it requires taking a side on an issue. If you are unsure of whether you support an issue or not, writing a persuasive piece can be a challenge. Once you decide that you are supporting, or not supporting the topic, you have to make sure you understand more than just the basics. The basics can be obtained from watching the news for a few minutes, but knowing the issue requires in-depth research and a thorough understanding. Only then can a persuasive piece be written.

Having a knowledge of the basic writing skills makes it a lot easier to write any piece, including a persuasive piece. Some students may benefit from writing an outline and several rough drafts before proceeding to write the final piece. I think reading is an important factor that can make or break someone's writing piece. Reading can include the person's own work, and reading articles or books about something that interests them (such as sports or fashion or anything). Published articles tend to use more sophisticated vocabulary and a clear, proper sentence structure. If anything, people can mimic their work after the articles they read and start improving their work.

As far as support is concerned, it will have to come from the student if any progress is to be made. Since the school is a semester school, we only have 3 months left to do anything at all. And if the teachers wish to get through the course, the only option I see is to have students take a few initiatives and get prepared for the work handed out during the course. To be honest, if you are not prepared right now, it is almost impossible to start preparations AND get through the course in the three months.


Sahil

Obama's Inauguration Speech

Well, the last speech was longer than the previous one and shorter than the first one.

While it can be said that every one of the speeches was equally important, there is no doubt that this speech precedes over the previous two, simply because this was the Inauguration speech. Obama's style of delivering the speech remained unchanged, and he paused and continued in the same manner as he did with the previous two speeches. The sentences were structured similarly, the rhetorical devices were used with efficiency, and while there was far less applause during this speech, there was immense respect for Obama.

The similarities lie in the rhetorical devices used during the speech. Once again, repetition dominates over the other devices. It was used frequently, and it was used to a very good effect. The similarity also lies in the fact that all three of Obama's speeches include the audience in them. Never once did Obama exclude the audience from his address.

I found that the difference between the Inauguration Speech and the previous two speeches came with his address to the current challenges that the United States of America faces. The speech included many instances where it would talk about the floundering economy and the hardship of families across the nation. It also included the shortage of jobs and the dilemma of the environment. Once again, he talked about the American military and acknowledged the sacrifices made by the soldiers and their families. The Inauguration Speech also included more facts and statistics than the previous two speeches.

I also noted that Obama put a heavy emphasis on uniting his country and facing the challenges together. He addressed numerous faiths that are worshiped in America; he mentioned the American ancestors who worked together to build a better country; he noted the laborers and the people who toiled because they envisioned a better nation for generations to come. During this speech, he also mentioned the "spirit" very frequently, something that was mentioned with less frequency in the previous two speeches. I may not speak for everyone, but I found it hard to paint a clear picture in my head of what Obama meant when he said "The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation." But I realize the fact that using such abstract phrases is a great tool for speeches as it captivates the audience and gets them behind the orator.

While there may be minuscule flaws, it is very clear that every speech studied were written and delivered with utmost precision and were very effective.


Sahil

Obama's Victory Speech

Alright, this speech was a lot shorter than the previous one, and ... I'm glad it was.

Obama's Acceptance and Victory speeches were very similar in terms of delivery and contained many of the same ideas and concepts. While it was shorter, the Victory speech included just as many different rhetorical devices as the Acceptance speech did. As I read/watched the speech, I noticed the fact that he mentioned Senator McCain's sacrifice for the country in both of his speeches. They both talk about how Obama was not the most ideal candidate for the White House, and both the speeches discuss the fact that changes have to be made and that the road to those changes is hard. By listening to the speech, I can tell that there are similarities in the style of writing. The sentences in the Victory speech are just as long as the sentences in the Acceptance speech.

Some of the common rhetorical devices found include rhetorical questions, reader inclusion, a hint of humor (although I'm not particularly sure), and most importantly, repetition. The Victory and Acceptance speeches include heavy emphasis on repetition. It seems to me that Obama wanted to make sure he drove his point home by repeating the key words. Coupled with repetition, the speeches also use reader's inclusion very effectively. I feel that by using reader's inclusion, the writer has ensured that the speech becomes a little more personal, and that it sounds not so much as a speech than a discussion between Obama and the audience. It's just that the role of the audience is to listen and applaud when Obama pauses.

I also found a couple of (obvious maybe?) alliterations in the speech. Examples include "block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand" or "beacon still burns as bright". Lastly, I am not sure about it, but I felt like there was also a reader's climax in the speech. The example I found was "It's the answer that led those who have been told for so long by so many to be cynical, and fearful, and doubtful of what we can achieve."

In my opinion, both of the speeches were delivered brilliantly.


Sahil

Obama's Acceptance Speech

Alright, so I just watched the 45 minute speech from Obama addressing the crowd on his success in becoming the leading Democratic candidate.

From watching him speak, I get the feeling that Obama's character and style has a lot to do with how his speech comes across to the audience. Obama has poise and confidence that can rally the audience into believing what he says. At the same time, I noticed that the diction used in the speech, especially the repetition, had a lot of effect on the audience. It got them to stand up, cheer and agree with the words of Mr. Obama. Also, the speech includes a lot of retelling of his past and experiences, which sounds almost like an anecdote.

The one thing I noticed that impressed me the most was the constant differentiation between himself as being Democratic and McCain being Republican. Obama also constantly referred to his opponent as “Bush-McCain administration”. I felt that it was important to make the distinction since Obama had just won the democratic nominee. Since there has always been a partisan between the Democrats and the Republicans, I think it was a smart strategy to continuously associate McCain with Bush and hammer the failed policies brought about by Bush. Another important fact that Obama mentioned was that McCain had agreed with most of Bush’s policies.

I also noticed that Obama used a variety of abstract words and ideas. It felt like while they sounded good during a speech, it was difficult to portray an image in my mind. An example would be “We meet at one of those defining moments”. At the same time, Obama made sure that he gave information on his plans once he became President. Included were items such as cutting taxes for 95% of all working families, and investing $150 billion over the next decade in affordable, renewable sources of energy.

Lastly, I also found that watching or hearing the speech greatly enhanced my understanding of the speech as it included Obama’s tone of voice and the speed of his speech. Although he was constantly interrupted by the applause from the audience, Obama made sure he spoke with clarity, and he made sure he pronounced every single word.

Sahil

Review Topics

Rhetorical Devices

• a rhetorical device or is a technique that an author or speaker uses to evoke an emotional response in the audienc
• There are over sixty rhetorical device, some that we are familiar with (such as Climax or Alliteration) and some ... weird ones (such as Parataxis or Hypotaxis).

Structuring an Arguement

• Creating an outline is the first important step in preparing an argument.
• Follow the outline by a catchy introduction sentence.
• Next step is to have a supporting section that includes background information regarding your argument
  
• The second supporting section should include supporting points.
• The next section discusses the opposing arguments and counters them.
• Summarize your argument / topic efficiently in your conclusion.

MLA Citation

• Abbreviation for Modern Language Association
• Two styles of citation - MLA and APA

Literary Devices

• Technique used by writers to convey or enhance a story (by using effects such as personification and simile)
• Literary devices are used in pieces of literature (such as articles/stories) while dramatic devices are used in films or plays.